Realizing...

Well Jesse is still gone on travel to restore power. He usually calls daily to check in on me and the kids, and tell us goodnight and he misses us. We are hoping to see him sometime tomorrow, but not 100 percent sure on that. It is okay though, cause the kids and I have done some serious hanging out.
Today was the neighbors birthday party, and so we all went to Laser Lites in Bloomington. It was fun, especially for Austin. I think that is all he has talked about since returning home and even tonight on the phone to Jesse, he asked if Jesse would take him there to play again. Hailee wasn't old enough to do the Laser tag so we played arcade games and enjoyed hanging out with the younger kids. We rode down with our neighbor, and I have realized so much about Austin in that short drive. I was sitting in the front just listening to him talk to the other kids and wow i didn't know if I was going to just start bawling my eyes out.
Austin is 9 now, and really knows alot. Maybe I should say he has started realizing alot. He knows who has been there for him his entire life, and who is never there. There has been so much happen in his life, and people's true colors have shown through. I am not going to get into all of this, but I just listened as he described his "fatherly figures" to other kids. I got teary eyed alot especially when he said, "Jesse is not my real dad, but I think he is my dad in everyway that matters. He is the one that is always there for me and I love him so much. When he is gone out of town, like this week working, he always makes sure he calls to tell me he loves me. My real dad don't even call hardly." Austin has been full of questions this week about why can't Jesse just be my dad, and I want my last name to be "Swartzentruber". This is so hard to deal with and explain. I wish I could take away all the hurt that he has been through, and just replace it with good. There was so much more said, but I am going to leave it at this..